Saturday, April 01, 2006

Review: Eliminators (1986)



Synopsis

When a man named John crashed his plane in the jungles of Mexico, he expected to die. One thing that he most likely did NOT expect was to be pulled from the burning wreckage by a reclusive mad scientist named Abbot Reeves, brought back from the edge of death, and transformed into a hideous cyborg (or "Mandroid" as Reeves calls him.) I'm guessing he also didn't expect that Reeves would then stick him in a time machine and send him on missions into the past to bring back mint condition Roman artifacts for his collection. Life is funny, isn't it?



When Reeves has his collection completed and is finished with John the Mandroid, he instructs his assistant Dr. Takada to take him out back and give him the Ol' Yeller treatment. Takada protests, but Reeves is not the most compassionate evil genius you've ever met. Takada tries to help John escape, but Reeves' minions gun Takada down. John makes a daring escape into the jungle, but not before sustaining serious damage to his transmission.

Determined to avenge the death of his only friend (and to get back at Reeves for the whole Mandroid thing), John makes his way into the United States to track down the person whose robotics research Reeves stole in order to make him a cyborg. This person is Nora Hunter(Denise Crosby), a Colonel in the army and brilliant scientist who was unaware that Reeves was secretly funding her research and then stealing her ideas for his own nefarious purposes.



Nora is a little taken aback when a hulking cyborg in a cheap plastic poncho and rain hat comes staggering into her lab one dark night, but she listens to John's story and provides a tune-up and oil change free of charge. Feeling pretty annoyed that she's been the pawn of an evil mastermind, Nora insists that she go along with John on his revenge quest. The two set off for Mexico, John in his highly convincing disguise (the aforementioned plastic poncho and rain hat.)

Once they reach the jungle, Nora enlists the help of riverboat captain, jungle guide, and provider of comic relief Harry Fontana. Fontana knows the area, and his skinny swamp-rat appearance belies his bravery and resourcefulness. The three set off on a river that leads into the deepest Mexican jungles. Unfortunately, the other skeevy riverboat captains have no love for Fontana, and do not appreciate him stealing their would-be business.




The Fontana-haters club, led by macho lesbian Bayou Betty and her cowardly French sidekick Maurice (no, I'm not making this up) come screaming up the river hot on the trail of our heroes. Thanks to some evasive maneuvers by Fontana and Nora and, more to the point, John's torpedo-launcher arm attachment, They manage to escape. As they get closer to Reeves' base, they must also deal with his dimwitted henchmen, but this doesn't prove to be too difficult.

During one of Fontana's fancy boat turns John falls overboard, and when they are unable to find him in the mucky river bottom, Fontana and Nora must press on without him. Not surprisingly, John trudges out of the water shortly after and continues on foot. He meets a young ninja by the name of Kuji who turns out to be Dr. Takada's son, also there on a revenge quest (again, I'm not making it up). Meanwhile, Fontana and Nora are captured by a band of rogue cavemen (I know! I know!). They get away with help from John and Kuji.

With our band of heroes reunited, they plan an attack on Reeves' headquarters. The three people without robotic augmentation sneak in through an air duct while John just goes up to the front door. Nora, Fontana and Kuji determine that Reeves is planning to use his time machine to go back to Roman times and proclaim himself the new emperor. (They also realize that Reeves must have used the time machine to bring the cavemen into the present day, though nobody is able to offer an explanation of WHY.)



There's a big shootout with the good guys versus Reeves, newly fitted out with some cyborg modifications of his own, and his army of heavily-armed thugs. Things don't go so well, and John sacrifices his life to save his three compatriots from one of Reeves' evil weapons. Thinking he is in the clear, Reeves hops into his time machine and starts it running. Nora, Kuji, and Harry wander in, and when Harry punches the control console in frustration, Reeves' time destination gets completely scrambled up and he finds himself trapped in the Silurian epoch, well before the Dawn of Man. This cheers up our remaining heroes, and they are able to share a good laugh even though John is in that great scrapyard in the sky.

Comments

This bad-movie business is a funny thing. Every once in a while, I come upon a movie that practically shrieks "I AM HORRIBLE!!" Usually, it is not lying. In some cases, though, I'm surprised by how good such a film can be. Eliminators is one such film. Everything about it would suggest an eminently stupid action adventure. With a tagline that reads "Mandroid. Mercenary. Scientist. Ninja. Each one a specialist. Together they are ELIMINATORS," how could it possibly not be awful?

I was prepared to like it for being bad, but I was startled to find myself liking it for being GOOD! The script acknowledges its comic-book subject matter and avoids the trap of taking itself too seriously, but at the same time it doesn't become a farce. The acting is quite respectable for the most part, and although the special effects are hit-and-miss, the Mandroid suit is pretty impressive.



Heading up the cast is the beautiful Denise Crosby, best remembered (at least by geeks like me) as Tasha Yar from "Star Trek: the Next Generation." Her portrayal of Nora is just about perfect - between the writing and acting, Nora is one of the most well-balanced and positive female film characters I've seen in a long while. She's brilliant, tough, and compassionate, and Crosby gives her just the right mix of seriousness and humor.

John the Mandroid (Patrick Reynolds) is pleasantly stoic without being completely robotic, but the other actor who really serves to anchor the film is Andrew Prine as Harry Fontana. It's easy to relate to him, because he seems to be the only character who realizes how weird the story is. Prine has been acting, mostly in television roles, for decades, and he makes Fontana likable and funny. His interactions with Nora keep things light and energetic.



Given that Eliminators predated the much darker and more violent Robocop by a year, the Mandroid suit deserves ample credit. Given the budget constraints on a film like this, it's obvious that somebody put a lot of time and effort into the thing. It's got more attachments than a Hoover - John is constantly switching out his arms - and its coolest feature is probably the optional eighteen-wheel ATV attachment. He just pops his legs off and hooks his torso directly into the thing, becoming a sort of human tractor-trailer.



Though we don't see that much of Abbot Reeves, we do get a pretty good sense of his evilness. He doesn't lose any sleep over ordering John's death, nor does he shed a tear when his long-time assistant Takada is gunned down by accident. He gleefully attempts to vaporize Nora and company. His most chilling act of evil, however, occurs when he disciplines one of his henchmen by electrocuting the poor guy's crotch. Yikes. Reeves makes Leona Helmsley seem easy to work for.

Of course, it would be remiss of me to imply that Eliminators doesn't have its faults. The cavemen seem like a bit of a red herring. Kaji seems to have gotten his ninja training through a correspondence school. I'm not entirely clear on why Reeves would go to the trouble of turning John into the Mandroid, then want to toss him away like used dental floss. And the idea that one little whack to Reeves' computer would be enough to send his time machine spiraling several hundred-million years off course is a tad questionable. Still, I'm more than willing to overlook a few flaws in such a good-natured and enjoyable movie.



Final Analysis

Eliminators is a surprisingly well-made little comic book of a movie, with a plucky script, decent effects, and actors who seem to be enjoying themselves in their roles. If a film that combines cyborgs, ninjas, cavemen, mad scientists, good-natured mercenaries, and Tasha Yar sounds too good to be true, Eliminators is a perfect way to spend an hour and a half. Recommended.

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With the introduction of cutting ice Machines edge and innovative technologies, a commercial ice machine is no longer a bulky device producing insanitation, consuming a lot of energy, making noise, and taking a lot of time to make the needed supply of ice. As a result of high end technologies, commercial ice machines are able to achieve “being green” the highest levels of energy and water conservation. Now a commercial ice machine can easily produce from 65 pounds to 2,000 pounds of ice cubes in a day. You can find varied shapes of ice cubes such as dice, half dice, octagon, crushed, nugget, and flake.

Commercial ice machines are the standalone units,ice Machines designed to produce large quantities of ice for various commercial purposes. Once installed, these commercial ice makers are pretty automatic and do not need much attention from you or your staff. These factory-made machines consist of a condensing unit and ice-making section that operates as an integrated unit to make ice, an ice bin or a storage unit to store the created ice and a dispensing unit to dispense the ice out of the machine. Many automatic ice machines use moving water to create an improved quality of ice cubes. They work on the principle of “faster the water moves the better the ice quality becomes”. In this process, the air and un-dissolved solids get washed away. This results in pure and clear ice production.

Large amounts of ice are demanded for various purposes in many ice Machines commercial entities such as Restaurants, Bars, Ice Cream Parlors, Bakeries, Country Clubs and Golf Courses. A commercial ice machine is the perfect choice for such places as the large quantity of ice also needs to be a certain quality as well. Automatic commercial ice machines will make plenty of ice of equal size in a short span of time. All you need to do is just start the machine and set the required functions, and leave the rest up to the machine. You will get good quantity of quality ice in a short amount of time. In addition, many commercial ice machines come with a self cleaning function. This will help maintain the quality and quantity if the produced ice while decreasing the time that you and or your staff must spend with the machine.

Keep in mind that there are two varieties of ice machines: air cooled and waterice Machines cooled. Air cooled ice machines use air to disperse the heat, whereas water cooled ice machine uses water to do the same function. Air cooled ice machines use more energy and also are much noisier than water cooled ice machines. However, they are more affordable than water cooled ice machines.

An assorted collection of wonderful, fast and energy efficient commercial ice makers are readilyice Machines available in the market. Various renowned and reliable manufacturers have come up with their unique range of these amazing machines. Numerous models that create different types and sizes of ice are available in the local and online market. A competitive urge of creating more efficient and cost effective ice machines, has left the customers and consumers with a distinctive variety of these units in which to choose.

 
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